Beware - this is a ranting of the mind... not a thought out blog post like I should probably be doing ;)
"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness." -Desmond Tutu
I love looking out at the stars, at sparkling lights, at things that shine and glow. It gives me that warm fuzzy feeling and inspires me to look into the future with hope. I went up to Table Rock with a good friend yesterday and looked out over home and felt... restful. It's the first time in a very long time where I didn't feel that hint of anxiety lurking at the back of my mind. I took a deep breath and just passively wondered about the adventures of the future.
I've been trying to do more in self-care, as you may have seen from my other posts. Part of this self-care is to do some soul searching of who I was, who I am, and who I'm looking to be. I am always thinking about something which leads me to be distracted at times. I am creative and shy, and I care very much for those around me. I'm easily inspired by my friends and people I meet, I love seeing them light up when we talk about their passions and it fills me with happiness.
I've gone through times where I hid, where I didn't want to be seen or heard, where the shadows seemed like a safer place than being seen by everyone in what felt like a spotlight. Now it seems that I seek out other people like that, not intentionally, it seems that we are just drawn to each other's company. I feel like we are drawn to other people who have either experienced similar paths, or people who have the knowledge, experience, or presence to change our path's for the better. These are people who don't exactly fit in with the standards the social world is trying to force on us, who have dreams of making the world a better place one person at a time, and I love getting to know these people!
My name means: famed, bright; shining. While I don't really care for the fame part, I like the idea of being bright or shining. I probably don't bring the same feelings to people around me that stars or other sparkling things bring to me, but I do hope that I can help inspire people to be more hopeful and to see the lights inside of themselves that I see when we are together. First person I need to remind of the light inside and to be hopeful, is myself. My friend reminded me of that, thank you!
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